Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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