then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
