Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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