Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
