How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
