there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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