I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
