She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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