the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...