My nipple is on Facebook.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.