I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I want a musical about memes.