You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito