i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..