i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE