I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.