No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize