Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
