I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize