Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
