But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
