hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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