Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
