The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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