is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
