Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
