i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
