Christians are straight up FREAKS
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
