I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
