i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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