If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so explain again why im purple
no
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
