What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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