Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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