Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize