my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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