When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
