Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am available for nakedness
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
