i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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