i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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