8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Welp...herpes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
