I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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