Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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