The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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