All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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