I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
