I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
