So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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