you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I didn't notice because vodka
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
