you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
