apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
