Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
