His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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