these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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