Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
