Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
