so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
