it was like eating out sand paper
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
