My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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