She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
