Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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