I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
