I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize