nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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