my soul wont recognize me after tonight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
