She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
