8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The feeling are messing with the penis
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.